Friday, September 4, 2009

Lies I have told my kids

  • Eddie Murphy is my brother.
  • Americans pour soft drinks over their rice. (A few kids tried this and pronounced it tasty.)
  • My laptop / bike / umbrella / pen cost P1 million (about $20,000). My kids are always curious to know how much I paid for things and I’m usually reluctant to tell them, so P1 million is the standard response.
  • In America we eat spaghetti uncooked. We also like our pork raw.
  • My best friend is street magician David Blaine.
  • Along with a coworker of mine, I toured Hollywood as part of a rock band. (Although they’re well aware I can’t sing, play guitar or perform any other musical act.)
  • There’s a special kind of lice that infests eyelashes.
  • My hair is a wig.
  • My hair is real and I spend hours every day curling it.
  • There is only one dance in America. It’s difficult to describe textually, but it vaguely resembles trying to milk two cows really quickly.
  • Americans don’t use soap or toothpaste.


Anonymous said...

Way to go! Start them young, Filipinos will hear lies lies lies from the government until they die anyway. Why not lie to kids as well?

Anonymous said...

you're just like them! full whine, whine whine.

Anonymous said...

yes whine

fattoma said...